wednesday night, my high school small group girls [whom i adore and am so blessed to be with] talked about nehemiah. we read nehemiah 1, and we spoke of the destruction of the Jewish people during this time. what amazes me is the emotion from nehemiah when he heard the news. he "sat down and wept" and "mourned and fasted for days before the Lord". that is sadness. for what do we get emotional for these days? our basketball brackets messing up? not getting the guy/girl we thought we were going to end up with? not having our plan work out as it shouldve in our minds? i sense a theme....
the mourning of nehemiah was real and raw and faithful mourning. he was mourning the now defenseless state of the people of the Lord and his home country. in nehemiah 1, we see that the city wall is destroyed, which is a huge visual for the state of the city. any city in that time's biggest defense against attack was its wall. with the wall torn down, it was vulnerable and a target of attack for other countries. we see nehemiah mourn for his people and their state and for God's people as they are left in a state of what seems to be hopelessness.
- this state Jerusalem has been left in is a result of the people's disobedience in the past. i do not believe in regrets. i believe everything that happens is to further refine and prune you to make your life an evermore glorifying reflection of the Lamb. but i do believe that every action comes with a consequence. what states are you in now because of our disobedience in the past? what does your wall look like right this very moment?
- what does repentance look like in your life? what do you define it as? one of my girls in the group defined it ever so perfectly in my eyes: repentance is not just saying "youre sorry" for something youve done that you know is wrong. its when you have done something that does not glorify God, and you start to see that. in the midst of you realizing you have not been obedient, you look into that action of your life and see God through it. you see what youve done is wrong and that Hes in the situation, as He is in everything, but youve seen what youve done to Him through it. and you cant help but flee from the sin and want to change. because through the sin in your life, you see the broken heart of the Father. i thought that was a beautiful and truthful and tragic vision of repentance. it certainly brought me to my knees.
as i mentioned before, the broken wall seems hopeless. but we know there is hope. as its said in nehemiah 1:8-9, those that were unfaithful were scattered, but those that obey and return to the Father will be gathered once again and given to a beautiful promise land. we will be gathered by the great Rescuer, Christ. romans 3:23-26 displays this so well. all of our hearts haven been destroyed by sin in our lives. but He is the One that rebuilds us lets us "soar on wings like eagles" if we turn our lives to HIM. not our circumstances. not our desires. not our wants. not our idea of what life should look like. not our plans. HIM. simply Him.
all of this which leads me to my final point. we have now been given the Gospel. we now know, therefore we are now responsible. my devotional was about waiting on the Lord. now that we know He is the one that rebuilds us and rebuilds us He does, will you continue to live in a life of trust and faith? a beautiful scripture of challenge is lamentations 3:24-26
"I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD."
is He your portion? so you sit and wait quietly for Him? do you sit and wait quietly for anything these days? do you wait for His salvation? greg pinkner, my pastor, said the wisest thing ive heard in a long time. i think we get so consumed with knowing every little detail about christianity and being the smartest sometimes, but he said "never forget salvation, where youve come from. preach the Gospel to yourself everyday". thats beautiful and challenging and a wonderment to me. do i do that? i pondered this verse because i dont know if i do these things at all. i certainly dont everyday. the most challenging thing to me is to remember the simplest truth- Whose i am and what i was before Him. with Him i am His child and a coheir with Christ. without Him, dust.
live your life according to this. nothing should be a stumbling block to this, even things that seem like they are good things. remember, nothing is good if it isnt in Christ. not even Scripture if said in vain. not even a job that seems divinely appointed. not even a suitable person for a relationship in your eyes. not even a new addition in your life. if you ever feel like something is your right, check your priorities and viewpoint. thats a scary place to be. instead remember and hold tightly to this:
You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
psalm 16:11
our joy and satisfaction on this earth is in His presence, and His presence alone. He will let you know His path, but in HIS timing, and only if you are walking with Him. if youre constantly running ahead to see whats next or stopped and dwelling on what has happened, how can He take hold of your hand and whisper His intimate and personal plan for your life thats filled with hope and sanctification and joy and discipline and Him? these are my thoughts. i hope it awakens you as it did me. remember the One who is rebuilding your wall.
