a tease.

so up here in good 'ol knoxville yesterday, it was a whoppin 60 degrees. i had the liberty of sitting outside for a while, closing my eyes, & just feeling the amazing weather. it was such a tease to things that im looking so forward to. some examples are: 

outdoor adventures with my roomie. we got to spend a long weekend along the river in our kayaks. enjoying the breeze in our shorts & chacos. 

theres this water tower near where i live up in knox, and its painted a sky blue. the days i enjoy the most are those that my roomie deemed calling "water tower days", days where the sky is so blue that you cant differentiate between the tower and the sky. yesterday was the first water tower day ive seen in months. it was glorious. 

i believe spring reverts us back to our childhood. days that were filled with school and playing outside until the streetlights came on and we had to go in for dinner. days of bare feet and our biggest worry being not getting to stay outside as long as you had the day before. i cant wait to frolic and run through big patches of grass, feeling the soft blades between my toes.  

i love the beach. probably more than most. i would never want to live there, because in my mind, its my retreat. its where i can go and let everything else go just to.. relax. iPod in my ears or a book in my hand, water, & my towel can leave me at the beach from sun up to sun down. & i havent seen the beach in over a year. im now itchin to go thanks to the current weather. 

im looking forward to simple things. simple things are what warm my heart the most. giant bubbles or bunches of balloons or fresh flowers or bicycle rides or a good book. these are things that bring joy to me. little joys that the Lord delights in giving me and has created me to reflect on Him when i am able to enjoy these things. 

³ Let them praise his name with dancing
   and make music to him with timbrel and harp. ⁴ For the LORD takes delight in his people;
   he crowns the humble with victory. ⁵ Let his faithful people rejoice in this honor
   and sing for joy on their beds.

psalm 149:3-2

patience.

i cannot claim the topic of this blog as my own.  its an idea that has been circulating among people around me and the topics of many of the conversations ive had with people recently.  its crazy to me to see how this is displayed in such various ways in peoples' lives.  patience to me may come in a very different form than someone else.  what i need the Lord to provide patience with me for is a very deeply rooted thing in my human nature.  a lot of things are based on instant gratification because of the world we live in now- a world that says it wants to serve me and my needs and provide for me whatever i want when i want it.  because of being in such a world, this can all too often seep into my relationship with Christ. i demand for things because i want them now.  i think i need them because in my small, human view, it will be the end of the world if i dont have it right then.  but as the song says, "He makes all things work together for my good". at first glance, that looks like it is based on me, on what i think is good. but its Him.  He is the one who puts things together in His timing for His ultimate glory. and that happens to be... my good. what is BEST for me is what will be most glorifying to Him. how thankful i am for a God who is my discipline.  and He doesnt just give me what i want. i end up appreciating the things i have to wait for or the things i received instead of what i thought i wanted much more than what i thought was best for myself.  as my wise sunday school teacher once told us: we are 1 float in a parade. God is in the blimp above the parade that sees where the parade and floats are headed, how to direct them, and make sure everything is working how its supposed to.  we must know that now we are called to make decision not simply based on if they are necessarily right, but if they are wise. make decisions based on saying "no" to instant gratification in order to enjoy the blessings He wants to richly bestow on us simply if we wait. just to wait for His timing. stop rushing.  we know He is faithful.  He gave us His Son. then how could we ever question Him?  so for now- enjoy simply His presence, even if you dont have what you think you need for now. set aside the vanities of human nature and reflect on what the Lord has done for you prior to this point and why He has you where He has you for now. be encouraged in all Hes given you. and be like the flower that waits for spring.  He will bring you out of the winter seasons of your life.  He will give you the blessings of His presence.   

new year resolutions.

so i know it a little late and a little generic to say i want to do new years resolutions, but i dont care! tonight at my high schools girls small group, we talked about our spiritual goals for the new year. and it was incredible. im so so blessed to be able to hear their hearts and be a part of their lives. two verses that were revealed to me today pretty much summed up what my heart was wanting to focus on this year. the first one:
"my heart says of You 'seek His face!' Your face, Lord, i will seek". 
psalm 27:8.


and the second:
"my soul thirsts for God, for the Living God. when can i go and meet with Him?"
psalm 42:2.


an issue that the Lord has recently revealed to me is how to have a more generous Spirit. its not necessarily about giving money for me. its deeper. its sacrificing buying things for myself instead of seeing that money go more for the glory of God and His work. so instead of spending wastefully on myself, this month i only will buy the necessities and whatever money i have left, give it where the Lord would see it best used for His most glorious name. i thank the Lord for this time with Him. it is hard because every time it comes down to a decision whether to spend for myself or not, im taking my cross dying to self. but its my Father disciplining me to act more in the likeness and reflection of what is in me, which is Him. as the Word says, we are being refined. we are being pruned. we have to bleed. we have to sacrifice things. we have to lose more of ourselves to gain more of Him within us, in which we are immensely blessed. what a beautiful image. and though we bleed and are pruned and are refined, our Abba is there to heal us and bandage our wounds and make us stronger in Him. oh, how He loves us.
















on another note, i had the best breakfast today....

nutella on a toasted english muffin. i believe nutella was made to  refresh the soul. 

fast times at the 1364.

these girls are the ones that get me through the week. some of my best friends [and one happens to be a cousin]. we do crazy things together, particularly when its rather late at night. like sliding down stairs in sleeping bags, making up songs about broadway, cooking meals together, dancing absurdly, decorating for the different seasons, having marshmallow fights and blonde moments. just a shout out to some of the best listeners and advice-givers in my life. love you both. to the moon & back. 

psalm 118: 22-24.

so valerie and i had a wonderfully Spirit-filled conversation last night. it was random to us but apparently divinely appointed, as all Spirit-filled conversations are. =] we were talking about what we have been learning lately. and she told me something very interesting about the above verses. shes been doing a beth moore study, and beth went into depth about those verses in psalm. its verses we've all read before, yet we dont know all the history behind such verses. and there is such deeper meanings behind these verses based on the time in which they were written. it still amazes me that no matter how many times i read a verse, i shall never know all there is to know. and Christ can reveal infinite things to me from one verse over a lifetime, so it means various things to me throughout my life and where i am at in my walk with Him. it is such a divine mystery, and the level of our comprehension, although it is profoundly deep to us, is only surface level to what we will come to know about our Savior on the other side of heaven. that is such a beautiful image. but i will now talk about the verses i came to talk about...


verse 22 of psalm 118 talks about the capstone being rejected. in the time that the temple was being built, the men were sent to get the rocks needed for the temple and construct them off site, only bringing them to the site to put together for the temple. this was done so that the site would stay sacred and not be disrupted by the loud noises and cumbersome labor. when they brought the capstone, it didnt seem to fit where it was supposed to in the beginning. so they set that rock aside and continued to build. when the temple was finished, it need one more piece to complete the work. they came across the stone they had rejected before, and they tried to place it where it was supposed to go again. and it fit! this is such a picture of Christ. in His first appearance on earth, man rejected im because He didnt fit their human image of what they thought should be the true Messiah, in His splendor and glory. Christ was too simple and common, He didnt seem to "fit". btu when He comes again, in His might, He will show that He fits and completes the church. 


another thing about these verses is that psalm 113-118 was read at every passover. so Christ read about Himself as being the capstone, the Rock that was to be rejected for now. He also read verse 24. He read this verse knowing what was about to come, and fully believed and obeyed anyway. He knew His Father was faithful, and so He fully rejoiced in everyday that the Lord made. 


these are things that are revealed to us by His grace so we better know Him and trust Him and love Him. these little mysteries intertwined in the beautiful tapestry that is His Word so He will be all the more glorified. it was a beautiful picure portrayed to me, and so divinely appointed. 

memories & goals.

so im back. sorry for the lack of blogging over winter break. this break was wonderful. it was diverse and full of fun memories and lots of snow and... too short. my last winter break ever. so im glad it was so enjoyable. i was able to have a wonderful weekend with my besties and run around hendersonville. i got to see some great shows in nashville and have a wonderful christmas with family and friends we consider family. i got to end the break with a memorable time on the slopes. here are some things in between that made the time in the snow unforgettable. 

before i left for break, i got to see one of my all time favorite bands in good 'ol knoxville. needtobreathe was the best show ive gone to. i hope to see them live again soon. they even came with an encore with no mics. simply their voices and instruments. it was glorious. 

when i got home, i got home, me & mom set up the christmas decorations and immediately started baking. the before and after of just one type of our wonderful creations. 

then i had some wonderful murfreesboro friends who threw a christmas party. i was dressed as a gift. literally. =] bow in the hair and all.

then i had the glorious opportunity to see my knoxville friends in nashville & go dosey doe at the wildhorse saloon. such a fun night. 

us boro kids then decided we wanted to go see lights. so we went to the best of the best and ventured to opryland hotel. we got to see lights and take fun pictures and eat amazing tiramisu gelato.

for new years, some of us decided to spend new years on the slopes. it was a crazy weekend filled with a lot of miscommunication, a dead deer, falling asleep before the stroke of midnight, and good good skiing. 

so we got to see some friends in a band called caleb. you should check them out. theyre great. and we ended up hanging with them for some game nights. good laughter came from some fun games we played and good friends to share in community with.

im back in knoxville now. ready to begin my final chapter in college. ready to be used by the Lord in whatever way He desires for this semester. i am seeking to learn how to truly trust Him and be generous of spirit. cant wait to see what journey lies ahead.